Incompetence is Bliss
by The Unmotivated Genius
Summary: Ahh! Not another mysterious girl from Ryou's past! But why is she holding a bloodstained metal pipe? Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

Incompetence is Bliss

Chapter 1- Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey

* * *

Hazelnut Edowara had come to the conclusion that her life was ruled by the number three.

For starters, she had lost a fight only three times in her entire life.

Her sister had been born three months after Hazelnut turned three.

There had only been three people in her life who she'd ever had any respect for. The first was, of course, the infamous Red Butterfly. The second was one of her teachers in middle school.

The third was _him._

Naturally, it had been three years ago when she had last seen him.

She had been only thirteen.

And, as if the accursed number couldn't leave her alone, three small triangles had appeared on her shin, looking for all the world like three small bear's claws.

She had no idea how they'd gotten there. Since she'd been the leader of a gang for three years, she knew all about tattoos, and even had some of her own.

These were not tattoos.

"Look, there's the new onee-chan!" squealed a voice in the darkness.

Hazelnut looked up. "Not them again," she thought. This group of girls had been "secretly" following her around all day. But Hazelnut would have to have been walking around with her eyes shut and her fingers stuffed in her ears not to notice them. Especially the green one; she was an accident waiting to happen.

The exited middle school girl who had spoken had a hand clamped over her mouth by the older red haired girl. The redhead, who seemed to be the leader, finally strode over to Hazelnut.

"Ah…Hello," she said, with a smile barely disguising her obvious fear of the tougher girl.

Hazelnut gave her the tiniest of glances. "Hey."

The girl just stood there, bemused.

"Listen, if you want me to join your gang, I'm not interested."

The redhead still looked confused. "Oh, no, we're not a gang; we're just a group of friends." She started talking very quickly. "Hi, my name's Ichigo and these are my friends, Lettuce, Mint, Pudding, and Zakuro."

Hazelnut raised an eyebrow. This girl seemed psychotic. But, on the other hand, the ex-gangster's unnerving appearance had this effect on a lot of people.

She was tall, sixteen, and had fiery orange hair with the bangs dyed a bright yellow. Even her posture hadn't quite lost the slouch of her gangster days. But it was her eyes that really completed the look. They were an odd honey color and would have been large and alluring if they had not been fixed with a permanent glare that told all passerby that this was not someone to be trifled with.

Ichigo shifted nervously. She seemed to have something she desperately wanted to tell Hazelnut, but she was having lots of trouble getting it out.

The little blond, however, wasn't shy at all. "What animal are you, onee-chan?"

Hazelnut had no idea what the little blonde was talking about. "Well, my zodiac animal is the tiger."

"No, no the animal inside you! Pudding is a lion!"

Hazelnut blinked. Something about this sounded very familiar…

* * *

_Three years ago_

"_Listen." Akasaka-san had the air of discovery about him. "I've come up with an infusion of Red List Animal genes. Grizzly bear, to be exact. This serum, when injected into someone of the right genotype, should give them superpowers enough to battle the aliens that threaten our environment."_

"_Cool." Hazelnut was always impressed with the genius of her experimental biologist boss._

"_Edowara-san, neither Ryou nor I has the proper genotype. But you do."_

"_You're going to make me a superhero?!" She grinned widely. "That's awesome."_

"_Before you agree to anything," cautioned the scientist. "I want you to be fully aware of the risks. This is only a prototype, and we have no idea what the side effects might be. They could range from you growing an extra head to absolutely nothing happening at all."_

_She scoffed. "Anything to further the cause of science, Akasaka-san."_

"_Are you absolutely sure?"_

"_What have I got to lose? Come on, I want to be useful."_

_He picked up the syringe._

"_There's still time to change your mind."_

"_No way. Inject me!"_

_He put it to her neck, hesitated, then pulled the trigger._

_Hazelnut felt the injection enter her bloodstream. Immediately, a cloud of wooziness clogged her mind. She sank to her knees._

"_Edowara-san! Are you okay?"_

_She smiled up at him. "Never better."_

_He helped her to her feet. "Do you feel any different?"_

_She frowned thoughtfully. "Not really."_

_He pulled out a little gold pendant. "Here, hold this; does it give you any strange internal feelings?"_

_She shook her head. "...Nothing. Sorry."_

"_Hmm. I guess I made the dosage too low. Sorry for putting you through that."_

_She gave him a mock bow. "Not at all. Glad to be of service." _

_

* * *

_

"Hold it," Hazelnut said to Ichigo. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the Mew Project, would it?"

Ichigo looked surprised. "You already know about the Mew Project?"

"Ichigo-san, I've probably known about it way longer than you have."

Before Ichigo had a chance to question her further, an interruption appeared in the form of a trio of aliens.

"Looks like they got to her first," the lead alien remarked to his comrades.

Ichigo and crew recognized them at once.

" Kish!" Ichigo fumed. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to see you, honey. That and we were going to destroy Orangey here…" He gestured to Hazelnut. "But I suppose we'll just have to kill you all."

"Orangey? How original. What did I ever do to you, you big, ugly slimeball?" retorted Hazelnut, taking a fighting stance. She had no idea what these guys wanted with her, but she was always ready for a fight, regardless of whether or not it was against some freakish aliens.

"Mew Mew METAMORPHO-SIS!"

Before Hazelnut had a chance to do anything, the Mew Mews sprang into action.

"Ribbon Mint Echo!"

"Ribbon Lettuce Rush!"

"Ribbon Zakuro's Pure!"

Hazelnut was completely distracted. _Magic_? That was rather showy. Still, having led a gang for three years, Hazelnut knew full well that appearances counted for squat when you were trying to beat someone to a bloody pulp. Plus, it appeared as though the aliens had seen it all before. They easily deflected the attacks and countered twice as powerfully with their own.

While the orange haired girl was lost in thought, a fluffy little pink robot spat a gold pendant at her feet.

"What's this for?" she asked suspiciously.

"Hazelnut must fight! Hazelnut must fight!" it squeaked.

Hazelnut picked up the little gold trinket. Like an epiphany, the right words flashed into her mind.

"Mew Mew Hazelnut METAMORPHO-SIS!" she cried.

There was a flash of light, and the girl felt her body transform.

She surveyed her new self. Razor sharp claws had grown six inches out from her knuckles. Also, something else had grown on her head. Tentatively, she placed her hands on her scalp.

She let out a low whistle. "Ears. Bear ears."

The sounds of battle reminded her of what was going on. "Oh, right. Time to put these to good use." She tensed for attack.

With newfound agility, she raced to within three feet of the alien Ichigo had addressed as Kish.

"Take this, alien scum! Ribbon Hazelnut Slash!"

Razor edged whorls of wind shot out from her fists, catching Kish and his comrades off guard.

The little blond girl who had first noticed Hazelnut took advantage of the opening. "Ribbon Puddingring Inferno!"

Hazelnut could barely contain her laughter when the aliens were encased in a giant pudding. Maybe magic could be useful.

Now Ichigo came forward to finish the thing.

"Ribbon Strawberry Surprise!"

A plethora of multicolored bubbles shattered the pudding, briefly wiping the smirk off Kish's face as he floated back to his own dimension.

"See you again, Koneko-chan!" he called to Ichigo.

"Don't ever come back!" she retorted angrily.

Pudding happily scampered over to Hazelnut.

"To answer your earlier question, Pudding-chan, I'm a bear. And I think you're a monkey," she said, ruffling the younger girl's hair.

Pudding shook her head. "Don't be silly, onee-chan, Pudding is definitely a lion, na no da!"

Hazelnut shrugged and turned her attention to the rest of the motley crew. "So, you're the result of the Mew Project, eh?"

"Ano…why don't you come with us to Café Mew Mew," said Ichigo.

"We'll fill you in on the way." Zakuro added, surprising everyone by actually talking.

* * *

"So, Akasaka-san finally opened up a café, huh? His chocolate cake was always the best…" Hazelnut's eyes misted over as she reminisced.

"Ah, Hazelnut-san, you never told us how you know Shirogane and Akasaka-san." Ichigo had gotten over her fear of the ex-gangster after she found out that Hazelnut kept two cats at home.

"Hmm? Oh, I used to work for them. I think I was the only assistant they ever had. He's a tough boss, that one."

"Tell me about it, Shirogane-san is such a _**baka **_sometimes."

Hazelnut raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I was talking about Akasaka-san."

Ichigo wasn't sure how to respond to that. Akasaka seemed like a nice enough guy.

Hazelnut ignored her lack of response. "Wait, don't tell me you're working for them, too."

Ichigo nodded. "We're all waitresses at the café. You'll probably have to become one too, since you're a Mew Mew."

Hazelnut shrugged. "I'll be all right, as long as I don't have to wear a frilly uniform or anything."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Well…"

She was spared having to answer by the arrival of the two owners of Café Mew Mew.

A spasm of emotion lit up Hazelnut's features when she saw Ryou. She quickly got it under control.

"Hey, Ryou, long time, no see."

The blonde boy stared at Hazelnut for a few seconds, then abruptly turned and stalked out of the room.

* * *

Yeah, I know it's a little stereotypical. But you really can't pair Ryou with anyone in the anime. Lettuce is too good for him and, for goodness' sake, I like Ichigo and Masaya. The guy's freaking perfect, even if he is a freaking tree-hugg...I mean, environmentalist.

If you're still reading, here's a fun fact for you: The title for this chapter came from a Beatles' song!

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew. If I did, I wouldn't have let 4Kids get their grubby little hands on it. And I would have made Pudding's color more consistent. I mean, come on. Her café uniform is orange, but her Mew outfit is yellow. How am I supposed to decide the colors for an original character when the animators can't even decide the colors for one of the canon characters? So, in case you were wondering, that's why Hazelnut is a bit of yellow and orange.

Is Hazelnut's character confusing? She's actually a very confusing person. I just imagined the seemingly paradoxical image of an incompetent gangster for her, and well, this is what spawns. Her life really is ruled by the number three though.

I apologize if I've misrepresented Japanese gangs in any way, shape, or form; I learned everything I know about them from reading Fruits Basket, if any of you caught the tiny reference at the beginning there.

Whew, sorry, I like to ramble. You can pretty much ignore all the author's notes if you want. I don't mind.


	2. I Saw Her Standing There

Chapter 2- I Saw Her Standing There

Akasaka-san stepped forward. "Please excuse my friend's ill manners. It's lovely to see you again, Edowara-san." He acted as though it had only been three weeks instead of three years.

"Same to you, Akasaka-san," the girl returned politely. "And don't worry; I hadn't really expected much from Ryou." Hazelnut's words bravely masked the turmoil of emotion inside her that had come from seeing Ryou again. She had anticipated seeing him after Ichigo mentioned the Mew Project, but she had thought she would have been able to handle it better. However, it was true that she didn't expect anything from him.

A "hello" would have been nice, though.

She inhaled deeply. "It smells like cake in here," she said, looking at the pastry chef with a hungry gleam in her eye.

The older man smiled. "Not until you start work. Here, I already made you a uniform."

Hazelnut stared in utmost horror at the poofy yellow waitress outfit. "No…freaking….way. You _will not_ get me to wear that _thing!_ Don't you have anything else?"

Keiichiro's eyes had an odd, and very unnerving, look in them. "But I made it_ special _for you, Edowara-san."

Hazelnut recognized that gleam. It could mean death if she wasn't careful. Honey-colored eyes flicked to Akasaka-san's ponytail and back.

She swallowed. "Alright. I'll wear it."

* * *

A few minutes later, Hazelnut was waiting tables just like everyone else, however malcontented. 

"For the record," she had commented. "I'm only here because I like your monkey."

The monkey in question had piped up. "Pudding is a lion!"

"Ah, sorry, Pudding-chan, my mistake."

Hazelnut decided she rather liked the hyperactive middle school girl.

"She's nothing like I was at that age, thank goodness," she thought.

* * *

_Hazelnut's glory days had been in her last year of junior high_. _Precious few people dared stand up to her gang, and those foolhardy enough to try were beaten down immediately._

_Even though she was at the top of her game, Hazelnut had no satisfaction with life. She felt that nothing she did had meaning. She didn't even care about her the members of her gang, and they certainly didn't care about her. Fear was the only thing that bound them to her. But she didn't know where else to go. Fighting was the only thing she was good at, and besides, in the heat of battle, she could forget about the emptiness gnawing at her insides. But a girl can't be fighting every second of the day._

_One afternoon, while she was wandering aimlessly around the city, she caught the flash of a rival gang member's coat disappear down a dark alleyway. _

"_Perfect," she thought. She hadn't been in a good fight all day. _

_Striding easily after the girl, she gave chase, to discover, not one, or two, but at least twelve other gangsters loitering in the alley._

_Hazelnut didn't mind, she'd probably been in worse._

_The other girls didn't notice her at first, being preoccupied in threatening a haughty looking blond boy._

_Waiting was not Hazelnut's style. "May as well give them a reason," she thought, and plunged in, placing herself between the mob and the blonde. _

"_If you want him, you'll have to go through Hazelnut Edowara."_

_A couple of the gang members blanched at the mention of her name (she had quite a reputation), but the one who was obviously the highest ranking of the group beckoned them onward. "There's only one of her and twelve of us!"_

"_Heh," Hazelnut thought. "There could be twenty of you and I couldn't care less."_

_Behind her the boy muttered, "I didn't ask for your help."_

_Hazelnut looked at him, flashing a grin. "Who said I was doing this for you?"_

_The gang members rushed at her all at once. With the ease of experience coupled with natural talent, Hazelnut thrust herself into the battle, adrenaline rising. "Is that all you got?" she taunted._

_She struck high and low, with amazing speed and agility, for a girl hitting people with a pipe. Although she would have been an excellent match for four or five of them, twelve was wearing her down a little more quickly than she would have liked. Nonetheless, she was prepared to go down fighting. _

_She was surprised when the blond boy also joined the fray. _

"_You get six, I'll get six?"_

_The boy nodded._

_Wordlessly, they bonded as a team, fended off the attack and sent the gang members scurrying back to from whence they came. _

_Hazelnut crouched a little, breathing heavily. "Hey, you're not so bad; you want to join our gang?" she teased. _

_The boy smiled. "I think I'll have to decline." His eyes flicked to a large gash on her arm. "Ah, you're bleeding."_

_She glanced at the substantial flow oozing onto her skin. Her head began to spin. She had never been so good with blood._

"_Oh, so I am," she said lightly, and promptly fainted.

* * *

_

_When she woke, Hazelnut was lying on a strange couch in a strange house. With immense relief, she noticed that her wound had been bandaged._

_The blond boy from earlier entered the room. "Ah, you're finally awake. It's been three hours."_

_There was something in the condescending tone of his voice that Hazelnut really didn't like. Had he really just been fighting alongside her? "Just so you know, I'm not so weak that I faint like this after every fight. I just don't like blood," she growled groggily._

_The boy looked incredulous. "A squeamish gang member?"_

"_There are ways of hurting people without drawing blood," she muttered darkly._

_He laughed. "You really are an interesting character. I'm Ryou Shirogane, by the way." _

"_Hazelnut Edowara."_

"_Just so you know, then, Edowara-san, I don't always rescue girls who faint in alleyways."_

"_If you expect me to feel honored or something, you're wasting your time."_

_Ryou looked a little taken aback. "He's probably used girls fawning over him all the time," Hazelnut thought. "He certainly has the looks."_

_The boy recovered quickly. "No more honored than you'd expect me to feel, I'm sure, from being rescued against my will."_

"_I already told you, I didn't do it for you. I just like fighting."_

"_I don't usually think very highly of pugnacious gang members, you know." _

"_I don't usually think very highly of spoiled rich kids."_

_He laughed again. "You're certainly an enigma, Hazelnut Edowara. I wonder what you'd be doing if you weren't in that gang."_

_She snorted mirthlessly. "Like I could even do anything else."_

_He leaned back and casually put his hands behind his head. "You shouldn't sell yourself short like that. For all you know, you could be destined for greatness." _

_She scowled. How could this little punk speak so nonchalantly of destiny? She knew what she was destined for. Nothing._

_She stood up. "I'm going home." _

_She wasn't really; she tried to avoid staying at home as much as possible. But she didn't want to stay with this guy any longer._

"_Suit yourself." Ryou lazily waved her off. _

"_Baka," she thought, and slammed the door behind her._

* * *

This is for you, JuniperScaymoore. Thanks for caring. 

I named the chapter after a Beatles' song again. I really am searching for some creativity, okay? It's not my fault it just seemed to fit at the time. Perhaps I should listen to a different CD while I type.


	3. Taking Care of Business

Chapter 3- Taking Care of Business

In the days that followed, Hazelnut became just as much a Mew Mew as everyone else. She mastered the arts of fighting aliens, searching for Mew Aqua, saving Tokyo, and eating as much cake as she wanted without gaining a pound.

However, her relationship with Ryou remained failed to improve. He only spoke to her as much as necessary, and, after some initial attempts to engage him in conversation, she returned the favor.

Pudding was insanely curious as to what had gone on between the two. Neither one though, was incredibly keen to talk about it.

This didn't stop her from trying to surprise it out of them.

"Hiya, Shirogane onii-sama!"

"Hello, Pudding."

"You know what I really like?"

Silence. Ryou didn't really care.

Regardless, the hyperactive girl ploughed on.

"What I really like are nuts!"

She rattled off a list. "Peanuts, pecans, almonds, Brazil nuts, yup, they're all really yummy. But do you want to know my favorite kind of nut, onii-sama?"

Still no response. But that had never stopped her before.

"It's hazelnuts, na no da!"

Finally, she sparked a reaction.

The prodigy turned around. "Pudding, why are you standing around chatting? We have customers waiting to be served."

"But-"

"Go." The tone of his voice told Pudding he was quite finished with conversation, thank you very much.

Disappointed, Pudding slouched off to fulfill her waitress duties.

She brightened as the obvious alternative hit her. "Maybe onee-chan will tell me!"

All the way on the other side of the café, Pudding discovered Hazelnut leaning against a wall, completely oblivious to the surrounding world.

Pudding wondered briefly why Shirogane didn't tell onee-chan to get back to work.

"Onee-chan, are you alright?"

The sight of Pudding's small face woke Hazelnut from her stupor.

She shook herself slightly. "Just haunted by the ghosts of things that have been."

"Thinking about Shirogane onii-sama?"

"What?!" Hazelnut was surprised at the accuracy with which the young girl could predict her feelings. "No, no, of course not, Pudding-chan, what would make you think that?"

Pudding wasn't convinced. "Onee-chan and onii-sama are acting very mysterious. The Great Detective Pudding will get to the bottom of this, na no da!" She struck a heroic pose.

"The only thing you're getting right now is a giant slice of Akasaka-san's delicious cake! Let's go take some from the kitchen!" Hazelnut suggested mischievously, distracting Pudding from her dangerous line of thought. Plus, she was hungry.

"Yay, cake!"

"Akasaka-san won't mind if we only take one, right? He's got lots!"

"Right!"

A few tables down, Mint took a dainty sip of tea. "Isn't it sad," she remarked to Zakuro, "how some people put their personal desires above their waitress duties?"

"Oh Edowara-san!"

Hazelnut hurriedly wiped the chocolate off her hands. "Yes, Akasaka-san?"

"Something terrible has happened. A cake that I worked dreadfully hard on has gone missing all of a sudden. It was going to go in the display window too…"

She widened her eyes as far as they would go. "That's horrible. What kind of person would be so evil?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"

"Me? I could never ever _ever_ do something as vile as taking a cake without permission." She heaved a dramatic sigh. "How could you even think of such a thing?"

He waved it off. "I never suspected you. I am confident that such a kind and wonderful and virtuous person like Edowara-san wouldn't do anything like that. In fact, I know that being so kind and good and wonderful, she would stay after work and bake me another cake to replace the one that I lost."

"Um…"

"Splendid! I knew you wouldn't let me down. Here's a list of instructions. Good luck!"

Hazelnut could have sworn she heard evil chuckling as the man disappeared down the hallway.

She stared at the piece of paper in her hand.

"I wonder if this is revenge for the ponytail incident," she thought.

* * *

"_I'm leaving the gang." _

_Hazelnut watched as a tremor ran through the group at her announcement. She had expected so much. She didn't really seem the type to up and leave like that. Especially since she was the leader. But the words of the boy she'd met three weeks ago still rang in her head. _

"I wonder what you'd be doing if you weren't in that gang."

_Finally, a girl in the back, one of her dissenters, spoke up. _

"_There are consequences for leaving, you know."_

"_I know there are consequences!" Hazelnut slammed her pipe on the ground. "I'm the one who set that rule in the first place!" She smirked, and cradled her weapon threateningly. "The question is: what are you going to do about it?"_

_Everyone stood stock still, not daring to challenge the leader who could beat up any five of them at once. And that was without the use of her hands._

"_That's what I thought."_

_Her pipe and mask clattered to the ground as she left without looking back._

_She hadn't really planned on it, but somehow, she ended up at Ryou's house._

_A ponytailed man whom she'd never seen before answered the door._

"_Oh, sorry, I was looking for Ryou Shirogane's house. Is he your neighbor?" _

_The ponytailed man smiled and beckoned her in. "No, no, this is the right house. Ryou's just in the basement."_

"_Oh, thanks. Who're you?"_

"_Keiichiro Akasaka."_

"_Hazelnut Edowara. Nice to meet you." Something about Ryou's companion disconcerted Hazelnut. He was just a little too nice._

_When Hazelnut reached the basement, Ryou didn't even look up from the computer screen._

"_I did it," she announced matter-of-factly._

"_Did what?" _

"_I quit the gang! Isn't that what you wanted?"_

"_I merely mentioned that it was a waste of your time and talents."_

_Anger began to bubble up inside Hazelnut. "What is it with you? First you drag me here after I rescued you, then you yammer on about destiny, and now you act like you don't care at all! What do you want with me?"_

_He turned around again. "Listen, do you want a job?"_

_She was caught completely off guard. "What?" _

_He repeated it, more slowly. "Do you want a job? Keiichiro and I could use an assistant."_

"_What does that have to do with anything?"_

_He sighed. "Look, do you want it or not?"_

"_Well…" She pondered for a second. This guy was nuts, but some sort of morbid curiosity egged her on, giving her an irrational desire to get to know him better. "Okay. But it's only because I have nothing better to do."_

"_Whatever, you start tomorrow. Come at three."

* * *

_

Three hours later, Hazelnut was no closer to a cake then when she had started, but she was very busy cursing every piece of kitchen equipment.

"You!" she shouted at a mixer. "I curse the day your shiny steel frame was spawned from the mold in the demonic factory from whence you came!" She turned wrathfully toward the hapless oven, pointing an accusatory finger. "And you! May your heating coils and racks and…and… whatever else is inside an oven be forever accursed!"

She threw up her hands in despair. "What did I do to deserve this?"

A slight chuckle sounded behind her. "Well, you did steal a cake."

Ryou was standing in the doorway. "You really don't know how to cook, do you?"

She scowled, too frustrated to care that Ryou was actually talking to her. "It might be easier if some of this junk"-she gestured frantically at the utensils that had given her so much grief-"would cooperate."

"Keiichiro has top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art, contest-worthy equipment. Hardly classifiable as 'junk.'" He tied on an apron and picked up the abandoned mixer.

It took her a minute to realize what he was doing. "Hey," she said quietly. "I didn't ask for your help."

Piercing blue eyes met her honey colored ones. "Who said I was doing this for you?"

* * *

This chapter dedicated to Shanequa; thanks for giving me hope for the future.

Don't worry, the ponytail incident will show up in the next chapter. I couldn't quite fit it into this one. But it'll be good. At least I hope so.

If anyone's wondering what happened to Lettuce, your guess is as good as mine. If anyone has any suggestions for "The Amazing Lettuce Adventure Hour", please let me know. If not, then, we can pretend she's invisible as usual.

This week I was listening to seventies rock, hence, the title. The song's by Bachman-Turner Overdrive, in case you were wondering.


	4. The Ponytail Incident

Chapter 3.5- The Ponytail Incident

Warning: Impending OOCness.

_Hazelnut spent four happy weeks working for the two young scientists. However begrudgingly, she had to admit that it was really nice to be useful, for once. Even though she was still clumsy, and had a hard time keeping up with all the biogenetics jargon, she at least kept things interesting. _

_But the orange haired girl had a rendezvous with destiny. Nothing could have prevented it._

_If Hazelnut had spent more time around the house, or if her parents had been more attentive, she might have at least once heard the time honored rule "Don't run with scissors." _

_Unfortunately, she hadn't, and they weren't. _

_It was really too bad. On that fateful Wednesday afternoon, while helping Ryou make a few adjustments on some very scientific machine that she didn't understand at all, he asked her to fetch the kitchen scissors. _

_The kitchen scissors were the sharpest in the house; Keiichiro used them for ripping through particularly tough packages. _

_Ryou needed them to split a couple of heavy duty industrial wires. Hazelnut was fascinated with watching him work, and eager to assist. Which was a first for her. The eagerness. She was usually pretty uncaring._

_In her hurry to be helpful, though, her feet got in the way of one another, and she tripped, sending the scissors flying. _

_That in and of itself wouldn't have been too bad; if it hadn't been at that exact moment that Akasaka-san entered the kitchen. _

_The scissors missed slicing open his skull by mere inches. But he had not escaped unscathed. The traitorous blades had sheared his luxurious locks clean off, pinning them to the wall. _

_Hazelnut was paralyzed with fear. The most important rule of the house was to never, _ever_, touch Akasaka-san's hair._

_Keiichiro blinked, a little dazed. His hand went up, gingerly feeling the spot where his ponytail had resided mere seconds earlier. An unearthly wail rose and filled the house, permeating even the soundproof basement._

_Ryou burst into the kitchen. "Keiichiro! What is it?"_

_Somehow, Hazelnut found herself again and immediately put her face to the ground. "I'm really sorry, Akasaka-san! Please don't kill me," she pleaded._

_If Hazelnut had not been kowtowing, she might have noticed the odd, and very unnerving, gleam in the gentleman's eyes. He seemed unable to form a coherent sentence, and had also developed a bit of a twitch. _

_Hazelnut had been half-expecting him to whip out a samurai sword and slice her head off. _

_Ryou put his arm around the pastry chef's shoulder. "Come on, Keiichiro, why don't you lie down for a while?"_

_The poor man couldn't stop twitching, but allowed himself to be led to his room._

_When Ryou came back, Hazelnut still had her face on the floor. _

"_You can get up now; I think he'll be okay."_

_Her strange, honey colored eyes peered up at him fearfully. "Really?" _

_He helped her up. "Yeah, but he'll definitely be out of commission for a couple of days, maybe even weeks."_

"_Hazelnut, will you stay here and help run things until he gets better? I don't think I'll be able to do it alone."_

_The girl smirked. "Do you think you'll be able to trust me? I can't even fetch scissors without causing an international crisis."_

_Ryou chuckled. "Are you kidding? That's the first hair cut he's had in three years. If anything, we ought to give you a medal."_

* * *

Extra Super Special Awesome Bonus: How This Fanfiction Came About

(As mentioned in the first chapter, you can skip over all this; it doesn't bother me.)

It all started on a dark and stormy night, almost four months ago, during Christmas break. On that very night, absolutely nothing happened.

The next day, however, left me in a bookstore for almost an entire afternoon. It was destiny, I suppose. It was the manga section, and some strange compulsion made me pick up the first book in a series called Tokyo Mew Mew. BAM! I was hooked. The concept was not revolutionary, and for the most part, the plotline and characters were predictable, but it held some strange attraction for me. Naturally, I couldn't read all the books in the bookstore, and they didn't have all of them anyway.

The next week was spent watching the first half of the episodes online.

About three days into that, I felt inspired to write. My creative process went something like this:  
"Hey, I should write a fanfiction! My English teacher will be so proud of me!"  
"I'll make it about Ryou! And Pudding! (my two favorite characters) But I can't pair them; that would be a little awkward, so I'll put in an OC! Yaaay!"

"Orange, I suppose, yeah, orange. And some kind of animal."  
In the very first thoughts I had of her, Hazelnut was going to be fused with tiger genes because that's the only orange animal I could think of. But then I realized that wildcats aren't pink, porpoises aren't green, and wolves aren't purple. (usually.)

Anyway, I finished the story by the time Christmas break was over. I read over my rough draft, decided I hated it with a purple passion, and left it to gather dust on my hardrive.

It took me months to forgive myself for writing something so boring. (Yes, it was boring. I had like five pages before I actually got anywhere with the plot.)

I picked it up, blew the dust off, and thus began the writing process:

1. Read the first chapter.

2. Cry, and fret about how in the world I'm going to draw readers into the story.

3. Spark an idea.

4. Write down the idea.

5. Do a happy dance of joy.

6. Trip over my biology book.

7. Explain things to my worried mother, who comes in to inquire about the crash.

8. Lather, rinse, and repeat with chapter 2, etc., taking care to avoid any obstacles when dancing about.

Yeah, the original went through a _lot_ of revisions. That's why this week's chapter is so short. I'm starting to add things from scratch instead of building off the foundation I already laid. The next chapter is going to be written from ideas I'm still in the process of coming up with.

Don't worry; I'm still working toward the same ending. It's just the middle parts that I decided needed a little elaboration. And the beginning. The beginning was terrible.

Whew! Juniper and Shanequa, I can't thank you two enough for being so completely awesome. It's your reviews that keep me working on this thing. Have some pancakes for your troubles. holds out plate of delicious pancakes


	5. I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

Chapter 4- I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Little Unwell

"Hold it like this, Hazelnut," Ryou said as he demonstrated the proper way to handle a mixer.

The largely incompetent chef screwed up her face in concentration and delicately took the utensil from her teacher. "Like this?"

He gave a sort of half-shrug. "Close enough. You finish that up and I'll work on the frosting."

" 'Kay."

Everything was fine for about thirty seconds. Then a shriek of surprise was heard as little bits of chocolate cake mix started to fly everywhere.

"Ahhhhh! Ryou, it's possessed!"

He calmly walked over and clicked the off switch.

She blinked at him, chocolate dripping off the end of her nose. "Oh."

"You need to learn not to fear the mixer. It's there to help you, and, trust me, it's not trying to kill you."

"Easy for you to say," the girl muttered, wiping batter off her face. "I've sparred with knife wielding guys who'd slash you to ribbons in a heartbeat, but this thing is pure evil."

Ryou chuckled. "Are you sure you haven't just gone soft? It's hard to imagine a gangster who can't work something as simple as a mixer."

He turned back to the frosting, which turned out to be a mistake.

In one swift fluid motion, Hazelnut had him pinned against the wall.

"Have I gone soft? I could slit your throat in a second," she growled.

Ryou gazed at her calmly. "It would probably take longer than that with a wooden spoon."

Hazelnut grinned sheepishly at her makeshift weapon. "Ah, life wouldn't be any fun anyway if you weren't around." She let go of him.

He dusted himself off. "Your ears are out."

She automatically reached up and touched her head to verify. Sure enough, she could feel the furry warmth of the rounded appendages that now graced her crown.

"Intense. It's a good thing that I didn't get injected until after I quit the gang. Can you imagine these popping out every time we got into a territory war?"

"Yes."

She scowled at him.

"Although," he added. "I'm sure that they look infinitely cuter with your café uniform than your gang coat."

"Shaddup." Hazelnut reddened and turned away. Typical Ryou. If he wasn't insulting her, he was casually throwing about these sorts of comments. He could be incredibly infuriating sometimes.

But by now, she knew how to retaliate.

"Otaku."

Ryou whipped around. "What?"

"You're an otaku," she repeated earnestly. "What's the first thing you did when you discovered the formula to fuse people with animals? You run out and make yourself a cat girl, just like the ones in the manga. Tell me that's not otaku behavior."

"You…"

"…are completely right? I haven't even said anything about these uniforms yet." She crossed her arms and grinned at him in triumph.

He met her gaze steadily. "What I was about to say was, 'You've used that one before'."

"_Woah, what're those?"_

_Ryou laid the intricate schematics down on a desk. "Plans for an auxiliary robot." _

_Hazelnut scanned through complicated drawings. _

"_Ryou, are you making this for your younger sister?"_

"_I don't have a younger sister."_

_Hazelnut grinned. "So you like making fluffy little robots in your spare time?" _

_Ryou was slightly put out. "It's a highly advanced piece of technology!" _

"_With big round eyes, a tiny puffball of a body, and dinky little wings. Looks like something straight out of a shoujo manga."_

_He said nothing. _

"_Oh!" she said, in a note of sudden understanding. "I'm sorry. I should have guessed. It's okay; lots of guys are like that. It's a perfectly normal thing."_

"_What is?" he said warily. _

_Hazelnut walked around the desk and clucked her tongue pityingly. _

"_Being an otaku."_

"_I'm not an otaku!"_

_She just shook her head. "Denial is the first step, Ryou."_

_He turned his attention back to his work. "If you keep this up, I'm going to send you up to clean Keiichiro's bedpan."_

_That shut her up. She meekly resumed her assistant duties. _

_After a little while, she said, "You wouldn't really, would you?"_

_Ryou was absorbed in soldering something. "Wouldn't what?"_

"_Wouldn't send me to clean Akasaka-san's bedpan."_

"_Of course not. He doesn't have a bedpan. The man only lost his hair; he's not bedridden."_

"_Oh." The orange-haired girl brightened considerably. _

_That relief was short lived._

_A bell sounded from down the hallway. _

_Ryou looked up. "That'll be Keiichiro. Now is his luncheon hour."_

"_Ah," Hazelnut said._

_The ringing continued._

"_Well?" Ryou said expectantly._

"_What?" _

"_Aren't you going to bring his lunch up to him?"_

"_What?! Why can't you?"_

"_I'm working on this right now." The scientist gestured to the pile of wires and spare parts on the table. "It's a very exact process. If I interrupt it, it might not work right."_

_She cast him a withering glance. "You're just lazy."_

"_What do you think I hired you for?"_

_The bell's ringing became more insistent._

"_If he doesn't eat soon, he might get angry. No telling what he'll do then," Ryou said casually._

"_Fine." She stood up and walked into the kitchen. _

"_Soup's on the stove," Ryou called._

_Hazelnut carefully poured some of the piping hot liquid into a bowl and placed it on a tray._

_The hallway suddenly seemed much longer than usual. With slow, deliberate steps, she made her way toward the door. _

_It let out a deafening 'creeeeeek' when she opened it. Hesitantly, she poked her head inside. _

"_Akasaka-san? I brought you some soup."_

_The man was lying in bed, his back turned to Hazelnut. He was keeping up steady conversation with himself. _

"_-but honestly, he's happier than I've seen him in weeks. I just don't know what to do, Satsuki-chan. That girl is the only cause I can think of, but I simply can't keep her around after what she did to me. If it weren't for him…But don't worry, Satsuki-chan, we'll be together again soon." He giggled insanely._

_Hazelnut was thoroughly spooked. "Akasaka-san," she said, a bit loudly._

_The gentleman gave a start. "Oh, Edowara-san, how lovely to see you," he said with an award winning smile. "Is that for me?"_

_Hazelnut's fighter's instincts were going off like crazy. The enemy who smiled at you was to be feared above all others. _

_She handed him the tray._

"_Thank-you, Edowara-san." He never lost his smile. "Have I ever shown you my most prized possession?"_

"_No." Hazelnut was sure she didn't want to see it. _

"_Oh, it's quite a treat. Why don't you bring it out of the closet there?"_

_Hazelnut did as she was told. The closet turned out to be housing a giant, deadly looking samurai sword. _

_The girl swallowed._

_Akasaka-san unsheathed the sword and gave it an experimental wave._

_Hazelnut had never felt more exposed. She wished Ryou would let her keep at least one knife on her person. He had said it was silly to carry concealed weapons while she was working for them. "After all," he had said chidingly, "who's going to attack you?"_

_Hazelnut knew who. _

"_Edowara-san, wouldn't you say it's the hair that makes the man?" The supposed invalid was stroking his sword menacingly._

"_I thought it was what's on the inside that counts." _

"_Tell that to poor Satsuki-chan."_

_And Hazelnut discovered who the deranged man had been talking to when she first entered the room. While in one hand he held out the sword, the other lovingly cradled what was left of his former ponytail. _

_It might have been more pathetic if the girl hadn't been fearing for her life._

"_Satsuki-chan is very upset with you, Edowara-san. Satsuki-chan thinks you should be punished."_

_He raised the sword. _

"_Wait!" Hazelnut cried. "What about _him_?" She couldn't really guess who the man might have been referring to earlier, but she sensed that this one thing might keep her from certain death. "Isn't he much happier now?"_

"…_True." Akasaka-san lowered his weapon. "I don't want to ruin that. It's been so long since he's been this way." The man thought for a moment, then sheathed his sword. "I wouldn't want to do anything that might cause Ryou more pain."_

_Ryou?! There were major implications to that comment, but Hazelnut was in no mood to consider them. _

"_You're safe for now."_

"_Arigato, Akasaka-san." Hazelnut walked briskly to the door and made a mad dash down the hall. _

"_Tommorow," she told Ryou. "It's your turn." _

* * *

Gomen-nasai, minna-san! I'm terribly sorry, everyone.

I should have listened to Juniper, because I got… dun dun dun…Writer's Block!

Yeah. And then I had a video project. Two, actually.

And after that was finals.

Yeah, no excuse for falling behind on my writing, I know. If I ever do this professionally, my editor's going to have to beat me. With a stick.

Okay, on a side note, I'm having way too much fun with Keiichiro. I'll get back to the plot (there is a plot, right?) next week.

Gotta give props to whoever wrote the song that provided this chapter's title. It kinda fits, don't you think?

I heart all of you mucho, but this week's chapter is dedicated to , for reminding me why I was doing this in the first place. I hope you're still reading this:D


	6. Guns and Roses

Chapter 5- Guns and Roses

It had taken a good six hours, but, with Ryou's steady assistance, Hazelnut had managed a passable replica of the cake she and Pudding had earlier liberated.

"Thanks for your help." Hazelnut said, unsure of how to feel about it.

Ryou nonchalantly folded his hands behind his head. "Well, watching your attempts at cooking is like watching a dying trout flop around at the bottom of a barrel."

She just smiled. "Hey, at least I finally learned how to cook rice."

"With a rice cooker."

"So what? Rice is rice, and at least I'll never starve."

"As you like it." He shrugged noncommittally. "Anyway, since I did practically all the work there, I'll leave the clean-up to you."

He tossed his apron on a chair and walked out of the kitchen.

"Ah, Ryou, it's a good thing you left," Hazelnut thought sardonically as she picked up a sponge. "We might have had what was dangerously close to a friendly conversation."

* * *

It was very late and very dark as Hazelnut walked home that night. She didn't mind. She was used to this kind of thing, having stayed out much later than this before.

She was cutting through a back alley when she heard the commotion.

Somebody screamed.

Curiosity raised, Hazelnut headed in the direction of the noise. Crouching behind a car, she saw a boy bending over a now inanimate body. She couldn't quite see what he was doing, but the pointy eared figure seemed kind of familiar…

"Oh, right," she thought. "It's that cocky alien kid, what's his name?" She rapped her head against a tree, trying to remember. "The one with the crush on Ichigo? The little one is Tart and the purple one is Cake or Pie or something; I swear this guy has some sort of pastry theme to his name too…"

Then it came to her. "Quiche!"

The boy whipped around, searching for the source of sound.

Hazelnut ducked down, not wanting to lose the element of surprise should it turn out to be necessary.

He turned back to the body and Hazelnut saw a glowing pink orb disappear into a little pouch on his belt.

He was stealing souls.

"Disgusting, evil alien," she thought. She reached into her sleeve, ready to whip out a weapon, only to discover that she didn't have one. Stupid Ryou and his stupid 'Nothing potentially lethal on your person while you're working' policy.

"Oh, wait, I have superpowers." She pulled out her pendant.

Kish remained on his guard while he finished counting the pure souls he'd collected that night. Twenty-three. Deep Blue would be pleased.

He was about to take off, when a hand grabbed his ankle.

"Not so fast, alien scum."

Hazelnut, already in Mew form, yanked him back down, causing his bag of souls to be flung into the street.

Kish, newly distracted by the girl pointing razor sharp claws at him, didn't notice.

"Is that how you want it, Orangey?" Kish chuckled. "Fine then, I'll leave you a little toy to play with."

He glanced around for any hapless woodland creatures to mutate.

"No animals around for you to hide behind here," she growled. "Just you and me."

Kish gave a mock sigh and threw his hands in the air. "Ah, well, I suppose I will have to deal with you myself."

He called his swords to him. Hazelnut grinned in anticipation and took a fighting stance.

She had expected him to make the first move. However, he instead chose to circle with her, both sizing each other up.

"Hmm, he's not as amateur as I expected," she thought. "I'll have to be careful."

He finally struck, and it was perfectly timed. Hazelnut only stopped the blow at the last minute. She pushed him back and retaliated with an onslaught of her own, viciously slashing out with her claws.

He blocked everything with relative ease. "I must be out of practice," Hazelnut thought. "Either that, or he's better than he's ever let on."

Still, she'd faced more skillful opponents before. They just required a bit of a different strategy.

"So, speaking of Ichigo," she said as casually as she could while blocking and thrusting.

"We weren't," he said through gritted teeth.

She ignored him. "You really ought to figure out a better way to flirt with her. Constantly trying to eradicate everyone she cares about is getting a little old."

While Kish made no verbal reply, his attack increased in frenzy.

"I mean, mutated animals aren't exactly romantic, and using the excuse that you just want to see her in that outfit is a bit perverted, you know? You ought to try doing whatever Aoyama-kun is doing; it seems to be working well for him."

"SHUT UP!!" Kish roared, viciously stabbing at her with all his might. He wasn't thinking his moves through anymore, just slashing randomly in anger.

"Anyway," she continued. "all I'm saying is maybe you could try being nice to her once in a while, perhaps do something sweet, like bring her flowers. Girls like that kind of thing." There, what she had been waiting for, an opening.

With a few deft movements, she knocked the swords out of his hands and pressed a claw against his jugular.

"Hmph. This isn't over, Orangey. Someday, I'll destroy you," spat Kish.

With that, he teleported back to his own dimension.

Hazelnut sighed to no one in particular. "A girl just tries to give some friendly advice and she gets death threats instead of a thank-you."

"Oh, Quiche left something behind." She picked up the bag of souls and opened it. Tiny glowing pink orbs floated out and began wandering toward their owners.

She smiled and struck a heroic pose. "Justice is served, thanks to the mighty Mew Hazelnut."

"Still," she mused. "That was very educational. I'm not likely to underestimate him again."

* * *

Ichigo bounced into the café the next morning with an unholy amount of cheerfulness.

"She's wearing her heart on her sleeve again," commented Hazelnut as she watched the redhead joyfully clean tables.

"Something good must have happened," Pudding deducted, wearing an intellectual frown.

"Must have been, what's-his-name, that environmentalist kendo kid."

"Aoyama-kun?"

"That's the one, Pudding-chan! Let's go investigate."

They sauntered over to the table that Ichigo was so contentedly scrubbing.

"So, what's new with Aoyama-kun?" Hazelnut asked casually.

Ichigo's cheeks turned as red as her hair.

"Oh…um…nothing." She sidestepped to the other side of the table.

Hazelnut trailed after her. "You and I both know there's something. Why don't you tell your Hazelnut onee-chan? Come on, you can trust me." She gave Ichigo a winning smile.

"Ummm…okay. I, well, found this in my shoe locker this morning."

She produced a single red rose and turned even more scarlet then she already was.

"Ah, that's so sweet! You really have a good thing going with Aoyama-kun, don't you?"

"I…I guess so."

Hazelnut laughed. "You guess so? Ichigo, you worry too much."

"Well, there wasn't a note or anything, and Aoyama-kun never said anything about it, but it must be from him, right?"

"Well, unless there's anyone else…"

"I know! It could be from Shirogane onii-sama, na no da!

Hazelnut froze.

Ichigo gave a nervous laugh. "Don't be silly, Pudding. There's no way Shirogane could have opened my locker without a key. And I keep the only one with me at all times."

Pudding was undeterred. "Well, maybe-"

Hazelnut clapped a hand over her mouth. "That's enough deductions for today, Pudding-chan."

* * *

Alright, so Guns and Roses is a band. But the only rose themed song I could think of was "The Yellow Rose of Texas," and that obviously doesn't work.

I'll see if I can find a doctor who will give me a creativity injection.

Just so everything's clear, I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew or any related devices. Yeah, didn't want to keep anyone in the dark on that, because I'm sure you were all wondering.

Stay groovy, everyone.


	7. That's Just the Way We Roll

Chapter 6- That's Just the Way We Roll

_A bit after three P.M. on a Wednesday afternoon, a young orange haired girl bounded in for her afternoon shift. "Konnichiwa, Ryou!"_

"_It's very rude to use someone's name without an honorific," the young prodigy said dryly._

_Hazelnut cocked an eyebrow. "Sorry about that, Ryou-tan."_

_He scowled. "At least use something appropriate."_

"_Ry-chan?"_

"_No."_

"_Ryou-pii?"_

"_If you've come here just to annoy me; you may as well leave."_

"_Fine, Shirogane-_sama_," she said, needlessly emphasizing the last two syllables. Sighing huffily, she threw herself in a chair and halfheartedly began to file some paperwork. _

_They sat in silence for a few minutes. _

"_Alright, Ryou, what is it?"_

"_What's what?"_

"_There's obviously something. I've been working here for nearly three months now, and I can read you like a book."_

"_It's nothing," he said insistently._

_She stood up, walked over to his desk, and forced him to look at her. "Tell me. You shouldn't keep things bottled up inside. It does strange things to you." _

_She paused, and off-key strains of "I'm a Little Teapot" could be heard coming from the back room._

"_I'd hate to see you end up like him." _

_Ryou got a strange look on his face, and Hazelnut wondered if he was about to smile. Then he sobered. _

"_I told you it was nothing."_

"_If you don't tell me, I'll shave Akasaka-san bald."_

_He stared her down calmly. "You wouldn't even make it back there."_

_Hazelnut bristled. "You think I'm afraid of Akasaka-san!? Like I'd be scared of a guy who's bedridden from a haircut."_

_Ryou looked over her shoulder. "Finally out of bed, Keiichiro?"_

_The fearless gangster gave a start and nearly fell over. _

_She slowly turned around, every muscle in her body tensed for a fight. _

_No Akasaka-san. _

_She swore loudly, making sure Ryou knew exactly what she thought of him at that moment._

_Ryou just shrugged. "You're being unproductive right now, you know. Remember who pays you."_

"_I'll show you unproductive," she said in a low growl._

_Ryou glanced behind her again. "Oh, good morning, Keiichiro." _

_Hazelnut snorted. "I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not that stupid."_

_An older voice sent chills down Hazelnut's spine. "You're making a horrendous amount of noise down here, Ryou."_

_The fearless gangster did fall over this time. "A-A-Akasaka-san! Are you feeling better?"_

_The de-ponytailed man, clad in a robe and bunny slippers, didn't seem to notice her, even as she was frantically scrambling away. "Could you try to keep it down a little, Ryou? I'm not feeling so well. I'm sorry; I won't be able to take you to MegaTokyo Wonderland today."_

_The boy jerked. "Oh, no, it'll be fine, you need your rest."_

"_Thanks." He began to shuffle off. "Oh, and Ryou?"_

"_Yes, Keiichiro?"_

"_If that orange haired girl shows up today, tell her she has three weeks left."_

_Hazelnut's knees buckled as her mortal enemy strode back down the hall._

"_Three weeks…" she repeated weakly._

_Ryou laughed. "Who's not afraid of Keiichiro?"_

_She recovered instantly and stared haughtily up at him. "At least I'm not the one sulking because Akasaka-san is too mentally unstable to take me to MegaTokyo Wonderland."_

_He turned surly in an instant. "Hmmph. Doesn't really matter to me. It's not like I really wanted to go."_

"_Ahh, that's too bad, I don't know what I'll do with these tickets then."_

_Ryou immediately straightened up. "You have tickets?"_

"_Nope." She grinned widely. "But it doesn't matter, right? You don't want to go."_

_He scowled. "It's biogeneticist day, alright? It only comes once a year. Happy?"_

"_If it means so much to you, I know how we can get in. Probably legally too. Come on!"_

_Ryou didn't have a choice. Hazelnut bodily yanked him out of his chair and out of the front door._

"_You realize it's across town."_

"_Yep."_

"_And you're not getting paid for this."_

"_Just shut up, will you? I'm trying to be nice!"_

_And surprisingly, Ryou did. _

_Hazelnut wheeled an ancient but well taken care of motorcycle out from the side yard. _

"_Let me introduce you to my baby."_

_The first question out of Ryou's mouth was "Did you steal that?"_

_The girl frowned at him. "No. Stealing motorbikes is like stealing children. My uncle fixed this one up for me." _

_Ryou stared at the machine as though it were a poisonous snake. "Is this how you get here everyday?"_

_The ex-gangster laughed and tossed him a helmet. "You need to get out of that basement more often."_

_He was still apprehensive. "Is this even legal?"_

_She ignored his question. "If you open your mouth any wider a frog will jump in. Are you coming or not?"_

_Ryou was going to say, "Not." He really was. But he found himself jumping on the back of this motorbike with a gangster who'd only been reformed for what, three months now? _

_The wind whipped playfully around them as they sped down the street, weaving in and out of traffic._

"_Great, isn't it?" Hazelnut called._

"_Yeah. I guess." Although Ryou hadn't admitted it to himself yet, something inside him knew that, sometimes, it was good for him to be dragged out of the basement._

* * *

SuperMegaTokyo WonderSpecial # 1

"So, at the very beginning of this story, wasn't there a green haired chick also?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, that was Lettuce."

"Whatever happened to her?" Hazelnut asked.

"Well, you see, since Lettuce's personality doesn't allow her to stand out very much, fanfiction writers usually end up leaving her out of the story."

Hazelnut shook her head. "How unprofessional."

Ichigo shrugged and changed the subject. "Have you ever heard of Wolverine?"

"Isn't that an Australian animal?"

"No, no, the X-Man. The one with the six inch claws coming out of his knuckles?"

"Hey, that sounds awfully familiar…"

Before Hazelnut's cognitive process could finish, the author came bounding out of the shadows, screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

The two girls stared at the pale form in front of them.

"Who are you?" Hazelnut demanded.

The author stood up to her full height, which was still a head shorter than Hazelnut, considering she wasn't of anime proportions.

"I am your creator."

The ex-gangster burst out laughing. "Yeah right. Some geeky wannabe writer who's winded just from running out of the plot hole that's twenty feet away is really the creator of this story?"

The author glowered. "If you're mean to me, I'll give you a horrific, painful death at the end of the fanfiction."

"Empty threats, chibi-chan."

Casting her character a withering look, the author took out a notebook, flipped to a certain page, and scrawled "Then Masha began to tap dance," at the bottom.

A few moments later, the fluffy pink robot hovered into their airspace, tap dancing his little heart out.

It is a truly mind boggling spectacle to watch a puffball with no arms and no legs tap dance.

While more minor characters assembled to behold the bizarre scene, the author, quietly slipping back into the plot hole, congratulated herself on a satisfactory distraction.

* * *

All the honorifics Hazelnut uses are incredibly childish and mocking, except for –sama, of course. (I learned them from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles!)

A big thank you to anyone who's still reading this. (I'm trying to see about throwing a parade in your honor.) I hope to finish by the end of Christmas vacation. Or I just might make the next chapter the last one.

Chapter title shamelessly borrowed from the Jonas Brothers.

As an instant reward for those of you who are still here, here's how to say "penguin" in seven different languages.

_Pingüino _(Spanish)

_Manchot_ (French)

_Maschile _(Italian)

_Pinguim_ (Portuguese)

_Pingvin_ (Hungarian)

_Mannlich _(German)

_Penguin_ (English!)

Don't you feel infinitely smarter now?


	8. Saturday Pops for Her

Chapter 7- Saturday Pops for Her

* * *

Sorry, sorry. I'm putting a note at the top. I won't do it again. But I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Please enjoy.

* * *

"Shirogane-san," Ichigo began in a voice of the utmost cajolery, "I have a question for you." 

"As you are most likely asking for a raise again, the answer is no," Ryou said tonelessly.

Ichigo stamped her foot. "Shirogane-san! I put in twice the work of anyone else around here, so I deserve a raise for pulling most of the weight!"

"Twice the work, hmm? Then how is it that you are standing here, wasting time, while everyone else is working hard to make up for the slack of one lazy worker?"

Ichigo whipped around. Even Mint had decided to change the routine a little and actually wait a table, at the one time when it might have been opportune for her to stick to her usual schedule of doing nothing. Ichigo fumed.

"Come on, Shirogane!!"

A few tables away, Hazelnut set a dish in front of an excited customer, watching the exchange between her boss and her co-worker.

She frowned. "Ryou sure likes to make Ichigo angry."

"It's weird, isn't it?"

Hazelnut jumped. Akasaka-san had come up behind her without her sensing his presence at all.

She met his gaze, though not without an involuntary shudder. "I-I guess that's just the way Ryou is, Akasaka-san."

He smiled, and Hazelnut imagined flowers blooming in his wake. Then she imagined the flowers all catching fire simultaneously and burning into black ash around him.

"Actually, Hazelnut-san, I was just thinking about how cats are."

"C-cats, Akasaka-san?"

He nodded gallantly, sending chills down her spine. "Cats are so nice and dainty graceful and friendly. If you pet a cat, she will purr for you."

He smiled again, leaning closer to her face. "So unlike big, ugly, lumbering bears."

Hazelnut froze.

"Bears are so horrible; blundering about and terrorizing people. And what's worse, they have no idea how to love anyone."

His voice had dropped as he uttered that last sentence, rasping it right into Hazelnut's ear.

He glanced over at Ryou and Ichigo. "If Ryou were ever caught in the clutches of a bear, I should hope that a sweet little black cat would be there to lead him back to safety."

He straightened up.

"Well, it's been lovely chatting with you. But I have work that really must be done. Farewell, Hazelnut-san."

Hazelnut stared at his retreating form. He had spared her before, supposedly because Ryou was happier, but now…now someone else could make him happy.

As Ichigo's argument increased in pitch, Hazelnut began furiously scrubbing a table into oblivion.

"Stupid, stupid cats."

Pudding bounced over to where her friend was working. "Shirogane nii-sama and Ichigo ne-chan fight like an old married couple, don't they?"

Hazelnut clenched her cleaning rag viciously. "They…do…NOT!!!"

Everything in the café stopped.

"Ryou, I'm leaving early today," Hazelnut said savagely.

He shrugged. "All right."

The orange haired girl threw down the rag and stalked off to the changing room.

Ichigo, quite unsure of what had just happened, immediately returned to her boss.

"You will give her the day off just like that, but you won't give me a raise?"

Ryou turned and looked at her. He was done arguing. "Ichigo, you have two options. One, kindly cease speaking and you may continue employment here, or two, you may continue speaking, and I will kindly cease your employment."

* * *

It had been a while since Hazelnut had donned her gang coat. She now ran her fingers slowly over the roughly hewn crimson fabric. 

"Hello, old friend."

A few minutes later, she was riding through the old alleyways, looking for someone, anyone, that she could take her frustrations out on.

Three shady looking young men whistled as she passed by. She braked.

Perfect.

"Were you addressing me, you worthless bags of scum?"

One of them spat out the cigarette he was sucking on and squished it under his boot. "You've got quite a mouth on you. I hope you're willing to apologize for that, kitten."

That was the wrong choice of words. Hazelnut gave him a swift blow to the stomach that sent him reeling backwards.

"Don't equate me with cats," she snarled.

His two friends moved in, but Hazelnut was all too happy to show them the full extent of her rage also.

She hefted one guy up and swung him into his friend, then kicked the both of them to the ground.

"Come on! Fight me!" she yelled. "Get up and fight me!"

The three came at her all at once. She kicked and punched and beat them back a second time.

"This chick's a demon," one of the guys said, rubbing a bruise on his arm.

"Lucky for us, I got a demon slayer right here," said the first guy, pulling out a switchblade.

Hazelnut didn't care. She pulled out a knife of her own. "Are you a real man or not? Can't even beat up one girl with your own two hands?"

They began circling each other.

"You'll be sorry about this, girly." Lightning quick, the man made a stab at her. Hazelnut pushed him back.

He tried again. She pushed him back even more forcefully.

"Ain't you going to try to attack me?"

Hazelnut didn't answer. The man slashed at her again.

"It's pointless," she shouted at him. "You can't win with that."

One of the other goons tried to catch her off guard. As she was reaching back to neutralize him, the man with the knife swung in to seize the opening.

She didn't have time to think. Striking blindly, she heard a scream.

The man with the knife had dropped his weapon and was now clutching his arm, while blood gushed from a wound just above his elbow.

Blood. Hazelnut's head started to spin. Blood. No, she must keep herself. Blood! If she gave up now, she would die. She concentrated with all her might on the other two guys, held up the knife, and said in a low voice, "If you don't leave now, I'm going to kill you."

The trio was gone in thirty seconds.

Hazelnut collapsed to her knees. The wounded man had scattered little drops of blood everywhere. There was still blood on her knife. Must wipe it off, she thought. Her jacket? No, then it would still be hanging around her.

She tried to scrape it off on the gravel, but that just got gravel stuck in it.

A red mist began to gather at the sides of her consciousness.

Hazelnut held her head and closed her eyes. She must not think about it. Taking a deep breath, she forced her thoughts elsewhere.

There was a park, not too far from here. Somehow, she hoisted herself back on her motorcycle and drove to the park. She fell into the grass and rubbed her knife in it.

There. It was done.

She pulled herself up against a tree and looked up at the stars. It was only then that she noticed the trickling sensation on her arm.

The man with the knife must have scratched her while she was stabbing him, for a thin line of blood ran from her wrist to her forearm.

She almost smiled. Years of conditioning herself to fight without breaking skin, hers or her opponents, and this was the second time she'd messed up. But there was no valiant hero for her now.

"I guess he won't come to save me this time."

And she gave up the battle for consciousness.

* * *

I guess I've really villainified poor Keiichiro with this chapter. I really don't have anything against the guy; he just proved to be really fun to work with.

Still, I hope I don't meet him in a dark alley at night.

I've also realized that I'm just using chapter titles as an excuse to talk about the music I've been listening to. So, sorry for being so lazy.

This time I actually chose the title before I wrote the chapter. I had a totally different feel in mind when I first thought of it. "Saturday Pops for Her" is a crazy J-pop song by naivepop or petitfool. You can listen to it on their Myspace if you're curious. Ah, sorry, I won't go into a discourse on J-pop until the end so you can skip over it if you don't want to read it. But anyway, I think I should have named the chapter after one of the insane punk tracks I have on my Ipod.

Alright, the alternate title is "Alone."

(Which I got from Newgrounds, I believe. It's by Evil-Dog, in case you're interested. Pretty good stuff; it's all instrumental.)

(Sorry, I think I need to start a music blog or something.)

Also, I'd like to apologize. I forgot to dedicate the last chapter. It was dedicated to Melissax3. I'm really sorry about that; you deserve a chapter dedication!

This chapter is dedicated to Ember Shirogane. Don't worry, there will be more.

Oh, if you want to read my discourse on J-pop, here it is. naivepop or petitfool is actually only good at being mediocre. If you want some really great picopop (yeah, that's the term for the genre), then try Plus-Tech Squeeze Box. They're my favorite. I'm also into Strawberry Machine and Perfume lately. Although, as a warning, if you do decide to check out some of this, take it in small doses. I'm sure it's been scientifically proven somewhere that picopop causes cancer.

Hey, everything else does.

Okay, I'm done. Unless you want to talk about K-pop.

No, no. I'll save that for next time.

Fighting!


	9. Still In Love With You

Chapter 8- Still In Love With You

A flock of squawking crows decided to roost in the tree Hazelnut had collapsed against, rousing the sleeping girl. She sat up and flung some rocks at them.

"Shut up."

Her arm was streaked with dried blood and bits of grass. She stumbled over to the duck pond and splashed some water on it.

A little old lady who was feeding the ducks looked scandalized. Hazelnut just scowled at her. What did old people know? They were just among the rest of the world, who understood nothing of her and her problems.

She walked back to her motorcycle. Good. No one had taken it while she was out.

Slumping down and propping herself up against it, she wondered what she should do next. No point in going to work. She wasn't going crawling back to Ryou if he didn't want her.

She punched the ground. Stupid Ryou. Thinking about him made her want to find someone else to hit.

* * *

_It was stupid, really. He had smiled, and she had liked it, and it had hit her like a ton of bricks._

_She was in love again._

_Shoot. _

_Hazelnut wasn't really sure when she started to fall in love with Ryou. It had snuck up on her, permeating her existence like the plague. _

_She had liked guys before, but a guy will agree to go out with you much more easily if you have your gang standing behind you, ready to maim him if he says 'no'. _

_Now she didn't have any protection against rejection. _

_She didn't expect him to return her feelings. She knew he kept her around because he needed help, and he liked to tease her. He may have even figured out that she liked him and enjoyed the power he had over her. _

_She hated that. But she wasn't about to leave. She hadn't ever been one to stop fighting, even if the battle was foolhardy. _

_It had been nine days since Akasaka-san had said "Three weeks." So she still had time. Plenty of time._

_She had actually tried to start carrying a knife with her again. For protection. She never stabbed anyone with it if she could help it. One tends to lose a fight if one faints in the middle of it._

_But Ryou had confiscated her weapon. "Honestly, do you think I'd allow Keiichiro to harm you while you are under my employ?"_

_Well, duh, Akasaka-san wouldn't do it in front of Ryou. He'd make it look like an accident._

_She gave up and decided to make the most of the twelve days she had left with him. If she was to spend her last few weeks on earth anywhere, it may as well be near to the one she loved.

* * *

_

A dull buzz hummed from somewhere above Hazelnut, reaching her ears for the first time. She glanced upward. A beehive hung from a limb about halfway up the tree.

Her mouth began to water. "I'm going to kill Akasaka-san for cursing me with these stupid genes."

Still, she stood up and tried to hoist herself onto a low hanging branch.

"Stupid tree." She dug the heels of her boots into the trunk, and succeeded in getting herself stuck upside down.

She swore loudly.

"Coarse language for a sloth."

Hazelnut turned in the direction of the voice, and saw the unwelcome bob of a familiar blond head coming toward her.

"Go away, you –––––!!"

He wasn't fazed. "I'm not sure I deserved that."

She kicked herself out of the tree, landing ungracefully.

Dusting herself off, she glowered at him. "What do you want?"

"An employer should keep track of his employees."

She snorted. "Then I quit."

"Fine," he said carelessly. "Keiichiro will be thrilled."

She raised a hand to strike him, but he caught it.

Ryou spoke as though it were an ordinary conversation between a worker and her boss. "But before you leave, I would like to know why you didn't show up this morning."

She spat. "I was tired of working for a –––––."

He gingerly released her. "Is that all I am to you?"

"I have plenty of other words to describe you, but I'm afraid they aren't very proper" she growled, though with somewhat less intensity.

He laughed weakly. "I come all this way to find you and all you do is insult me." He ran a hand through his hair. "But I still feel like this is the place I'm supposed to be."

He smiled, and Hazelnut cursed inwardly. The urge to hit him was gone.

_

* * *

It was Thursday. Three days left. _

_Hazelnut had decided to confess to Ryou. It was insane, but she couldn't stand it anymore. She was as hopeless as a lovelorn schoolgirl around him, always half hoping that he would ask her to hand him something so that their fingers would touch for just a second. _

_Pathetic. She knew._

_But she loved him. It built up inside her until she was sure she would burst if she didn't tell him. And she was running out of time. _

"_Alright," she had told herself that morning. "Today is the day." _

_Uncapping a black permanent marker, she wrote on her arm, "I will definitely not hide my feelings any longer."_

_A gangster's pledge. You could stake your life on it.

* * *

_

Ryou and Hazelnut sat on a grassy hill, which was, by a strange coincidence, the same one Ichigo and Masaya's first date had been. The two could see the café from where they sat, but neither one felt like going to work that day.

"Ryou, I'm thirsty. Go get me a drink."

Ryou didn't move. "It should be you getting drinks. I'm your boss, remember?"

She shoved him playfully. "I quit this morning, remember?"

"Two weeks notice," he said, and leaned back in the grass.

She lay down next to him. "I guess we're going thirsty then."

He smiled. "I guess."

They were silent for a while. Late afternoon joggers kicked up the dusty pathway. Young couples and long married retirees strolled through the park, hand in hand. A cicada let out its lazy summer cry.

Hazelnut rolled to face the figure next to her. "Hey, Ryou?"

He turned. "Hmm?"

"Do you…?" She couldn't believe she was asking this. "Do you like cats?"

"Nah, I'm allergic."

She straightened. "Serious?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you think I'd infuse a girl with cat genes if I was going to be allergic to her?"

"Ah." Hazelnut turned back to face the sky.

If she had still been looking at Ryou, she might have seen the spasm of indecision that crossed his face.

"There's nothing going on between me and Ichigo," Ryou said, cool-as-you please.

Hazelnut tried to emanate his nonchalance. "What makes you think I would be concerned if there was?"

Ryou smiled, even if she didn't see it. He knew.

"Nothing," he said.

* * *

"_Hey, Ryou."_

_Hazelnut's boss turned around. "Hmm?"_

_She kicked a foot on the ground to hide her nervousness. "Can I talk to you for a second? Outside? Where I know Akasaka-san isn't crouching in the next room with an ear to the door?"_

"_You have an irrational fear of my colleague." Ryou said, but complied with her request all the same._

_The night air was chill, and a waning moon hung in the sky, lighting the side yard next to Ryou's basement._

"_What is it, Hazelnut?"_

_The ex-gangster stared at the ground and clutched the arm with that morning's pledge written on it._

"_You know, Ryou, you live with a serial killer, you have a superiority complex and a fetish for fluffy pink robots, plus, you're kind of a jerk…"_

"_Did you bring me out here just to insult me?"_

_She stamped her foot. "That's not it! Ryou, even though you're all those things, I still can't get you out of my head!_

_Hazelnut paused, and softly said, "Ryou, you're a _baka_, but I love you."

* * *

_

Just a couple of things:

Apologies for using a Jonas Brother's song for the title again. It seemed to fit.

Apologies for writing a sappy chapter. I'm trying to learn.

You may have noticed a blank where Hazelnut should be calling Ryou something very insulting. Please fill this in with whatever you usually call someone when you're ticked off at them.

You know Hazelnut and Ryou's conversation about cats? That went through several revisions, and I still couldn't think of anything better. So, apologies for that too. This is what it looked like before its current form:

_Hazelnut rolled to face the figure next to her. "Hey, Ryou?"_

_He turned. "Hmm?"_

"_You remember the day we met?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Why did you take me to your house instead of a hospital?"_

_Ryou shifted in the grass. "I was afraid of taking a gangster to a hospital. You might have gotten arrested."_

_Hazelnut started to laugh. "They don't arrest thirteen-year-old girls! Unless they do something really bad, I guess, but we never had any fatalities!"_

I wanted you to know why Ryou didn't do the responsible thing and take her to the hospital. In case you ever find a random wounded person in the street, don't follow his example; just find some trained medical technician to help you.

Yeah, I'm just going to go now.

Espero que tu vida esta lleno con éxito y alegría. Y, claro que sí, con conejitos y otros animales lindos.

Quédate en escuela!

By the way, I'm sorry; I had no idea that an anonymous reviews filter even existed. If you feel slighted by having to log in to make a review, well, feel slighted no more! You are now free to leave anonymous reviews to your heart's content.


	10. Serious Plan

"So, your place or mine?"

Twilight was breaking around the young couple. She had her arms twined around his neck; he had his around her hips.

He smiled impishly. "Mine's closer."

It had been a long afternoon for the both of them. They had had much time to talk, and even more time for not talking.

He kissed her gently. "Are you in such a hurry to leave?"

"Not if you aren't," she murmured into his chest.

He whispered her name softly.

"Eri-chan…"

"Subaru-kun…"

They began another passionate kiss, and Hazelnut had the overwhelming desire to walk over and whack them.

"Young love," Ryou remarked dryly. "It's sweet, isn't it?"

The two still relaxed on the same grassy hill as the last rays of the sun struggled against the creeping night, both feeling a dutiful sense of returning, but neither of them felt ready to end the afternoon. The ardent young couple standing on the path in front of them was the third such in the past hour.

She shot him a look. "It's stupid. They should find somewhere less public."

Ryou merely shrugged and said nothing.

A silence played itself out. Eri-chan and Subaru-kun eventually meandered off, still entertwined.

"It's getting dark," Hazelnut said finally. "We should head back."

"So soon? The night is young and so are we."

Hazelnut scowled at him. "What are you saying? C'mon, my bike is this way."

Ryou shook his head. "I can walk."

"I have a new one, you know. It's a beast."

"That's nice."

Hazelnut grabbed his hand and pulled. "Come on. I don't get to show it off too often."

Ryou only put up a halfhearted effort to resist. Hazelnut dragged him back to the clearing where she'd left her motorcycle that morning.

She froze. Twenty or so heavily tattooed gangsters stood alongside the man she had stabbed yesterday. A slow smile curled around his lips as he fiddled dangerously with a knife longer than Hazelnut's forearm.

His black eyes glittered. "Thought I'd find you here, kitten."

***

"_Ryou, you're a _baka_, but I love you."_

_Ryou stood in silence. Hazelnut wanted to run away and hit him and kiss him all at the same time. But she felt paralyzed, as though all time had stopped to wait for his answer._

"_No. You don't," he said._

_A roaring heat rushed back into her veins. "Shut up, Ryou! What would you know about my feelings? I love you more than-"_

"_You don't. It's not real. You only think you do," Ryou continued tonelessly. "I shouldn't have taken in a girl from the streets. It was inevitable that you would have developed some sort of attraction to me. It's my fault. I shouldn't have let this get so far." He turned to go inside. "Consider yourself released from your position, Edowara-san." _

_Hazelnut's throat closed up. "St-stop being such an idiot. What are you even saying?" _

_He was halfway through the door._

"_Don't leave me here, Ryou!!"_

_Ryou paused, but didn't turn around. "Please go home now," he said firmly._

_The garage door clicked in the darkness, and she was alone._

***

* * *

This chapter's pretty short; It's more like a half-chapter. But I've put up more than one this time. I wanted this one to stand alone as an answer to the last chapter's cliff hanger.

Just keep going to the next chapter, guys.


	11. Infinite Night

(This one should probably be rated T for violence. Sorry.)

* * *

_Hazelnut had shown up for work the next day, and the day after that. She had stood at the front door for hours, hollering until she was hoarse for Ryou to open up or she was going to break it down. But there was never any answer. Not even Akasaka-san. _

_So she gave up. And three years passed._

***

The man with the knife wore his hair in a greasy black ponytail, which Hazelnut hadn't noticed the day before. But she recognized the large gash on his right bicep, now tied with a crude bandage. His injured arm remained oddly limp.

"Thought I'd find you here, kitten."

"I told you not to call me that," Hazelnut growled, though a cold sweat was breaking on the back of her neck.

He grinned icily. "Hardly in any position for lip, sweetheart. I'm not in a particularly forgiving mood after your little episode yesterday."

"Grab her," he told his men.

Three guys moved forward. Hazelnut took a fighting stance.

"No, you idiots, she took down three of us yesterday," the man snarled. "I'm not underestimating her again."

Three more came up behind Hazelnut, knocking her down. A brawny bald guy with a dragon tattoo running up his neck caught her in a stranglehold. His arm closed tighter around her neck as she struggled, so she went limp. His grip relaxed a bit, but his forearm stayed tight against her windpipe.

"Now her boyfriend." The young biogeneticist barely had time to react before another thickset man pinned his arms fast behind his back.

"He's… not… my …boyfriend," Hazelnut choked.

"He's not, eh? You won't mind us doing this, then." The man snapped his fingers and another gangster came forward and punched Ryou in the face, the force of the blow jolting his head back like a rag doll.

Hazelnut bit her lip as blood began to leak from Ryou's nose.

The man snapped his fingers again. And again. And again.

Hazelnut winced every time she heard the sound of fist cracking against skull. "Stop it," she said through gritted teeth.

" The ponytailed gangster strolled over to Hazelnut, holding his knife inches from her face. "How about I carve my initials in that pretty little neck of his, eh? You won't forget me then, will you?"

Hazelnut glared at him, pure poison burning in her eyes.

"I could take his head off all together." The man tightened his grip on his knife. "Perhaps the lesson would really sink in then."

"I'll kill you," she hissed.

He leaned in, and Hazelnut could smell the tobacco on his breath. "We'll see about that."

"Hey, he's not breathing!" shouted one of the men near Ryou.

The ponytailed man turned his attention away from Hazelnut. "Is he dead?"

His thickset crony thrust two enormous fingers on Ryou's neck. "Don't feel nothing." The man holding Ryou up released him quickly, thoroughly spooked by the idea of touching a corpse. Ryou's body collapsed in a crumpled heap on the ground.

The ponytailed man strode over to Ryou's body, and kicked it once in the ribs. No response. "Huh. Didn't mean to do that. Oh, well, one less brat in the world."

"Ryou!!" Hazelnut screamed as she stared at the limp form. "Ryou!!" She sobbed, tears splashing onto her captor's arm. "You've killed him; you killed him!!"

"You think I care?!" the man shrieked, eyes bulging, "I'll kill you next, girly, for what you did to me! You took out my right arm! My fighting arm!" He gestured with his knife to the useless lump of mass that now dangled at his side. "You severed the tendons, you ignorant cow! I'll never be able to use it again! I used to be feared! Now I can barely lift this knife!"

"But," he continued, maniac grin slowly spreading across his face. "I can still fight. And I'm going to take my revenge."

"Tie her right hand," he barked.

Hazelnut's wrist was roughly bound to her back, and the gangsters made a ring around her and the ponytailed man.

"Now it's fair. See?"

They began to circle each other. Hazelnut sized him up. She knew that, no matter what, she had no escape. Her last option was to go down causing as much pain as possible to those who had killed Ryou.

The man lunged at her, but she threw up her hand to stop the blade. He only grinned wider as he wrenched his knife out of her grip, watching blood drip from her palm. "Still got some fight left in you don'cha, girly? Let's see how many more times you can do that."

He lunged again and Hazelnut leapt out of the way, aiming a punch to his gut.

She caught him a little winded, but he landed a slicing blow on her forearm.

Hazelnut's vision staggered. "You lowlife piece of scum. I should have taken care of you when I had the chance."

"You have the chance now, girly. Fight me."

She mustered up the rest of her strength and threw herself at him. She saw his surprised look before she felt a sharp pain hit somewhere below her ribcage. She stumbled back and fell to the ground, clutching the place where the knife had pierced her.

Even the maniac grin was gone from the man's face now, leaving only cold fury. "It's time you join your boyfriend over there."

***

* * *

Poor Hazelnut. Ponytailed men are always out to get her.

Haha, you know, I totally forgot about her Mew Mew Powers when I was writing this chapter. But she probably forgot too. I mean, she's going through a bunch of emotional upheaval, and she's used to fighting with only her fists. (Besides, a magical girl transformation right in the middle of a knife fight might have been weird, don't you think?)

And didn't she fight Kish randomly in one chapter? Ahh…I'm sorry, there was a subplot there…somewhere…(pretend there wasn't ^^')

Gah! This site has changed so much! But look! I can use asterisks now!

What do you mean it's been over a year since I last updated? Ehehehehehehe, just trying to live up to my name. (At least the 'unmotivated' part of it.)

Love you all. You don't even have to review this time. Just let me know you're still reading. (If you are, that is.)


	12. Casimir Pulaski Day

Chapter 12: Casimir Pulaski Day

The greasy haired man drew nearer, hand poised for the finishing blow. Ignoring the warm blood oozing over her fingers, Hazelnut shifted into a fighting stance, summoning the last of her strength. The man took a step closer.

"Bin nice chattin' with ya, but I got other business tonight."

Another step. Just a bit more. She tensed her muscles, waiting.

"You got nothin' left, girly. Just pray in your next life, you'll be something less stupid."

He took another step towards her, drawing his knife back.

Hazelnut struck, a full force frontal kick to his jaw. He stumbled back, blood now leaking from his mouth. His face contorted into pure fury.

"KILL HER!!"

His posse of tattooed gangsters rushed her in one giant mass. Hazelnut tried to realign herself into a fighting stance, but her muscles were completely shot. Her legs wobbled beneath her.

"Well, Ryou, I tried," she said, glancing at his still body with a resigned smile as the ring of thugs closed in.

She collapsed to her knees, stamina completely drained, and braced herself for the worst…

Something was causing the gangsters to scatter. Sirens? Hazelnut watched as the man who had stabbed her took off into the trees. The edges of her vision began to blur.

Ryou. His blond head was bobbing along. Someone was carrying him.

She felt herself being moved too. She struggled.

"Let me be with him," she said. "Don't take him away again."

A vaguely familiar voice murmured, "Perhaps this time…"

***

Bright lights. Hazelnut struggled awake. Everything was white. An IV was attached to her arm. Needles. She hated those too.

Ryou was dead. "I killed him," she whispered to herself. "If I hadn't been such an idiot, he would still be alive."

She could feel the tears beginning at the corners of her eyes, but she brushed them away. "I don't deserve to be alive any longer."

There was a window next to her bed. She was on at least the fifth story.

She was already halfway through when the nurse came in.

The nurse let out a little yelp. "No, no, Edowara-san, come back in here. That's dangerous."

She firmly pulled the girl out of the window. Hazelnut's resolve was still too weak for her to resist much.

The nurse guided Hazelnut back to the bed and reset her IV in its place. "Now then, lay down. It'll all right. I know things seem bad now, but they'll get better. Life isn't out to get you, you know; it's just unfortunate sometimes."

Hazelnut scowled.

"Now, if you look like that, your visitor will think you don't want to see him."

A tall man with his hair tied in a neat brown ponytail entered the room. "Edowara-san."

Hazelnut's mouth went dry. Now that Ryou was dead, there was certainly nothing to keep Akasaka-san from murdering her. Dying trying to avenge him would have been honorable. Being strangled by his loony best friend in a hospital room was really more than she had bargained for.

"I'll leave you two alone, then," the nurse said, bowing out of the room. Akasaka took the seat by her bedside.

"How are you feeling, Edowara-san?"

"All right, I guess. A little achy."

"You don't have to be so afraid, you know." Akasaka-san smiled, and though she tried, Hazelnut couldn't detect anything maniacal in it, just a little sadness.

"I'm not afraid." A lie.

"I know I've been horrible to you in the past. You did cut my hair." He paused and shuddered. "But I think we can move past that. I shouldn't hold a grudge…especially…for his sake."

A sudden stiffness in Akasaka-san's manner told Hazelnut that she wasn't the only one who cared about Ryou. A bit of her fear evaporated.

"You know, the day he brought you home, I remember watching him, bent over your unconscious form on the couch, as though you were a wounded stray he was nursing back to health. I remember his face when he asked me if we had any bandages: anxious, lit with concern, the first emotion he'd freely shown since his parents died. I couldn't believe it."

"Now that he had a project, he could focus on something other than himself for a while. He opened up; he was recovering, faster than I had dreamed. But something still bothered me. I felt like I was losing him. You were taking Ryou away. I had been his only family. I had been going to save him. Now he didn't need me. I was being replaced by this stringy gangster chick he had picked up off the street."

He paused. "I watched him fall in love…"

Obviously, Akasaka-san had been mistaken. Ryou might have taken delight in teasing her, but he had said himself he didn't love her. He had turned her away. But there was no point in correcting him. One must have respect for the dead.

"And I wanted it to end. I wanted him to need me again. And I'll admit, when I wasn't…myself, I don't remember much of what happened. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. One of the perks of insanity is that it allows one to always speak his mind, without regard to social constructs or others' feelings."

He shook his head, as though inwardly chiding himself.

"He brooded for months after you left. I had no idea what to do with him. It wasn't as bad as his parent's passing, of course. But he shut himself off from me for a while. He never told me what happened."

At this point Akasaka-san glanced at Hazelnut, as though asking if she cared to reveal what had passed between them. Hazelnut remained silent.

"When we started up the Mew Mew project again, I had high hopes. New love had healed him once, and could do it again. When he showed a bit of interest in Ichigo, I tried to encourage it, however I could, knowing it would be the best medicine."

Hazelnut hated the ponytailed man again.

"So, imagine my surprise when you showed up again. All the work I'd done in the last three years, shattered. I thought you an inconvenience, but I was mistaken. Ryou had feelings for Ichigo, of that much I am certain. But it turns out they were merely a dam to hold back his feelings for you. When you arrived, the dam burst. I didn't realize this until yesterday afternoon, when he had Ichigo by his side, and you had left him. _But he decided to go after you._

"Of course, you led him into trouble. I wondered if it had been a good decision to let him go. But I don't think I could have kept him back anyway."

Hazelnut's insides welled with apprehension. "Here it comes," she thought. "he blames me."

Akasaka-san shook his head as though to clear it and smiled. "You know, you were the first thing he asked about when he woke up."

***

* * *

"Though this be madness, yet there be method in it."  
-Hamlet, Act II

Was Akasaka-san mad? Was he really?  
Maybe partially. He was rather attached to his hair.

Yeah, you and I both knew Ryou wasn't dead.  
Hazelnut didn't. In all fairness, he looked pretty dead.

I must seriously apologize (especially to Juniper) for any misrepresentation of the Japanese culture found in this story. I don't always do my research as I should. ^^'  
(I also apologize for the gangster talking like an industrial era London street dog; I just wanted his villany to come out in his speech)

Jay Huddson AKA Aqua, it's thanks to your cheering that Hazelnut kicks the dude in the face. I didn't get that idea until I read your last review.

This chapter dedicated to DarkFlameAlchemist. Thanks for daring to review this late in the game.

(Twelve thousand points to anyone who recognizes the song in this chapter's title. Fourty-three thousand if you've got it on your iPod or whichever musical device you use :P)

Soo, not to bother you all with trivialities, but I have something to ask you.  
How many people would be bothered if I changed my pen name?  
My current one sounds a little arrogant, to say the least (I was a cocky, inexperienced fourteen-year-old when I started this account ^^', now I'm a slightly less cocky, slightly more experienced eighteen-year-old), and I'd like to switch to something with a slightly different ring to it.  
(At this time, I'm seriously considering Paisley Avenger, because it combines two of my favorite things, superheroes and foofy patterns. :D)

But gave me grave cautions against changing willy-nilly, saying it would end up confusing everyone and the world would explode. (okay, maybe not that last one.) So I'm pitching the matter to you guys.


End file.
